Stories of Character

working_class · **Joined:** Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:55 pm **Posts:** 236

gottago wrote:

This is not the place to talk about politics if you want to start a new sublect then do so.

someone else started it !!

yourself and others participated

why did you not admonish them ??

lol

Patrick W Maple · **Joined:** Tue Mar 06, 2007 7:11 pm **Posts:** 621

Al: Politicians...Susan and Dennis are NOT politicians...Shaun Farrell is a good choice but HE is not a politician...the others I do not know.

Aside from that what is the definition of GOOD? That is a subjective term and can well be interpreted by many as many things...Ted Kennedy comes to mind...some say he was good and have ample explanations for why...I do not see him as good...never have, never will.

Did TK have character? For that matter do I? Do you?

gottago · **Posted:** Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:03 pm

Pat, this is getting way off of this subject. Why not start a new subject?
This one is about stories, not if your a good or bad politician.

AnotherCCG · **Joined:** Wed Jun 17, 2009 12:51 pm **Posts:** 65

Pat - Don't mess up the post where TCCG pulls stories off the internet for all to read. Real life stories about people in our community would be much more interesting but this forum wants junk pulled from the internet so gottago can see the numbers on his topic grow and grow and grow and grow. Funny how most of the post are his.

Ok - time to be told "bad boy" again.

gottago · **Posted:** Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:24 am

One part of good character is being able to be a good Listener.

A young officer in the Army discovered that he had no change when he
tried to buy a soft drink from a vending machine. He flagged down a
passing private and asked him, "Do you have change for a dollar?"

The private said cheerfully, "I think so. Let me take a look."

The officer drew himself up stiffly and said, "Soldier, that is no
way to address a superior. We'll start all over again. Do you have
change for a dollar?"

The private came to attention, saluted smartly, and said, "No, sir!"

Each of us commands some authority. There are or will be those we
guide, supervise, rear, mentor or lead. Some of us will be effective
and others will feel as if we're running a cemetery: we've got a lot
of people under us and nobody's listening.

Much has been written and taught about leadership, but I find that at
least four traits are common in all people of authority who
effectively elicit cooperation and respect from those who look up to
them. Whether you are a parent, whether you find yourself in the
workplace, sitting on a volunteer committee or teaching some-one a
new skill, these traits will help you effectively guide those who
would seek to follow.

These good leaders are...

L isteners. They take time to listen to the suggestions and concerns
of those they endeavor to lead.

E ncouragers. They don't try to do it all themselves. Neither do they
motivate by force or guilt. They encourage others and help bring out
their best.

A ssertive. They say what needs to be said without being unkind. They
tell the truth as they see it, openly and frankly.

D ecisive. They know what needs to be done and they make timely, even
difficult, decisions when necessary. But they can also take charge
without running over the people in their lives.

In short, good leaders L-E-A-D!

It's said that the trouble with being a leader today is that you
can't be sure whether people are following you or chasing you. But
those who will develop these four traits are sure to find that their
authority will be valued and respected.

gottago · **Posted:** Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:01 am

When was the last time you were challenged to do something really...
well... great?

President Abraham Lincoln helped me to understand that there is a
bit of greatness within all of us. It is said that he often slipped
out of the White House on Wednesday evenings to listen to the
sermons of Dr. Phineas Gurley at New York Avenue Presbyterian
Church.

He generally preferred to come and go unnoticed, so when Dr.
Gurley knew the president was coming, he left his study door open.
On one of those occasions, the president quietly entered through a
side door of the church, took his seat in the minister's study,
located just off the sanctuary, and propped the door open just wide
enough to hear the preacher.

During the walk home one Wednesday evening, an aide asked Mr.
Lincoln his appraisal of the sermon. The president thoughtfully
replied, "The content was excellent... he delivered with
eloquence... he had put work into the message.."

"Then you thought it was an excellent sermon?" questioned the aide.

"No," Lincoln answered.

"But you said that the content was excellent, it was delivered with
eloquence and it showed much work," the aide pressed.

"That's true," Lincoln said. "But Dr. Gurley forgot the most
important ingredient. He forgot to ask us to do something great."

There is nothing wrong with average lives and average
accomplishments. Most of the good of the world is built on the
accumulated efforts of everyday people. But, as Lincoln seemed to
know, a life should strive for some greatness.

Are you part of a relationship that, if given more effort, could be
outstanding? Or do you volunteer for an organization which is truly
doing something excellent? Have you joined a cause that is
attempting something great? Or have you ever said to yourself
concerning a beautiful dream, "I could never do that," while knowing
that if you were to attempt it and succeed, you just might
accomplish something significant?

If Abraham Lincoln is right, then every life should strive to reach
a little further today than it did yesterday, for there is some
greatness in each of us

gottago · **Posted:** Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:20 am

If you want to help your children do well in life, there are a few things you can do. A high proportion of high achievers have two things in common: lots of books in their house and an emphasis on reading, and a family tradition of regularly eating dinner together.

Filling a house with books surrounds children with endless and varied opportunities and challenges to explore and learn. Books provide knowledge and seeds of wisdom about morality and character.

Eating dinner together assures that parents have an opportunity to participate in their kids’ day-to-day lives and help shape the way they think and react. Coordinating schedules so everyone eats together requires an effort to elevate family time above other things and instills in children a sense of belonging.

But we can do more than promoting reading and family discussions to offset the bad influences to which our kids are exposed. Everything we do to or in front of our children matters; what we allow, what we encourage, and what we do ourselves teaches our children how to live and conveys powerful messages about values.

So be sensitive with what you say and how you say it, what you read and what you watch on TV. And be careful with how you handle relationships and deal with emotions like disappointment, anger, and frustration. Because what you do is what you’ll get.

gottago · **Posted:** Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:10 am

Think about this.....

Ben’s first duty as a new pastor was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who had died in his eighties. Since he didn’t know the deceased, he invited members of the congregation to say a few kind words about Albert.

No one budged. “Many of you knew Albert for years,” Ben prompted them. “Surely someone can say something nice.”

After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said, “Well, his brother was worse.”

If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Would their comments make you proud of the way you lived and the choices you made?

There’s an old saying: “If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you’d like people to say about you after you die…and live backwards.”

Thinking about the legacy we want to leave can help us keep our priorities straight. When the end is near, it’s not likely any of us will say, “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.” Unfortunately, many of us only begin to realize the value of the time we have after we’ve frittered much of it away in shallow ruts going nowhere important.

It’s hard to think now what will matter later. But doing so can dramatically improve our chances of living a full and meaningful life with few regrets.

Knowing how we want to be remembered also allows us to make a strategic plan for our lives. How much wiser would our choices be if we had the wisdom and discipline to regularly ask ourselves whether all the things we do and say are taking us where we want to be at the end?

In a sense, we write our eulogies by the choices we make every day.

gottago · **Posted:** Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:27 am

One of the great challenges to our humanity is acknowledging and overcoming our natural tendency to think less of and discriminate against people who are different from us racially, ethnically, religiously, or ideologically.

Despite persistent rhetoric about prizing diversity, political debates often reflect disdain and contempt for those we disagree with, and prejudices of all sorts are more readily stated. Indeed, there are disturbing signs that anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, and anti-Catholic attitudes are rising throughout the world.

James Patrick Kinney wrote the following poem, “The Cold Within,” to remind us of what’s at stake:

Six humans trapped by happenstance,
In black and bitter cold.
Each one possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story’s told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,
The first woman held hers back,
For on the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.

The next man looking ’cross the way
Saw one not of his church,
And couldn’t bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes;
He gave his coat a hitch.
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought
Of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned
From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man’s face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from his sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood
Was a chance to spite the white.

And the last man of this forlorn group
Did naught, except for gain.
Giving only to those who gave,
Was how he played the game.

The logs held tight in death’s still hands
Was proof of human sin.
They didn’t die from the cold without.
They died from the cold within.

gottago · **Posted:** Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:01 am

Whether you're a sports fan or not, you have to acknowledge the powerful cultural influence sports has on our culture. The values of millions of participants and spectators are shaped by the values conveyed in sports, including our views on what is permissible and proper in the competitive pursuit of personal goals.

Professional sports and even highly competitive intercollegiate sports seem irreversibly addicted to the idea that sports is basically a business and that the only thing that makes sports profitable is winning. And if that means we have to tolerate egocentric self-indulgent showboating or whining, violence or even cheating, so be it. Clearly these attitudes have invaded youth sports as well. Everywhere we see that a lot of adults -- both coaches and parents -- need to grow up and realize the game is not about either their egos or ambitions.

The appropriate mission of youth sports is to provide kids a safe environment in which they have fun, build character, learn to practice sportsmanship, and develop skills and traits that help them become responsible citizens and live happy, healthy lives. Striving to win is an important aspect of competition and teaching kids how to compete effectively and honorably is important, but youth sports is not primarily about winning; it's about trying to win and learning through effort and improvement.

Of course winning is fun and kids like to win, but it's the adults who distort the experience because of their need to win. No matter how much we try, only a few youngsters will move beyond high school sports, and an even tinier percentage will make a living from athletics. But when youth sports is done right, every participant can build positive life skills and gain lifelong memories from the pursuit of victory with honor

gottago · **Posted:** Fri Nov 13, 2009 10:11 am

A teenager wants to go to a party, but she’s sure her mom won’t let her. So she and her friend concoct a false cover story.
What’s the big deal? Most kids lie to their parents from time to time, and their parents probably lied to their parents. Despite rhetoric about virtue being its own reward, a great many adults – and a higher proportion of kids – are more likely to make their choices based on a calculation of risks and benefits than moral principles.
Since young people are particularly susceptible to choices that indulge impulses and favor immediate needs and wants, we need to teach them how making bad choices to gratify such desires can sabotage their most important relationships and impede critical life objectives.
Every dishonest act has at least two potential consequences: 1) the actual penalty, and 2) loss of trust. The second is by far the more serious and underestimated.
This is especially true in parent-child relationships. Where trust is important, there are no little lies. When parents don’t believe their children, their cords of control will be tighter and held longer. The price of lying is lost freedom.
It’s often difficult to predict how a decision today will affect tomorrow, but dishonesty often has a lasting negative impact on relationships and reputations as well as self-image and character.
From both a moral and practical perspective, honesty is the best policy.

gottago · **Posted:** Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:42 pm

This was sent to me and I agree.

A little boy and girl were singing their favorite carol in church
the Sunday before Christmas. The boy concluded "Silent Night" with
the words, "Sleep in heavenly beans."

"No," his sister corrected, "not beans. Peas."

The story reminds me of the wonderful and hectic holiday season many
of us are approaching soon.

Dave Garroway was, for many years, the host of the TODAY show on NBC
television. Someone once asked him about his understanding of
Christmas. He replied: "I've noticed that when people are asked what
they want for Christmas, nine times out of ten, they answer with
something material. That used to be amusing to me, but it's not
amusing to me any longer. I happen to be one of those people who can
afford anything he wants, but I find what I really want, I can't buy
at all. I want peace of mind, peace of soul; the kind of peace you
have when you don't really want anything."

What do YOU want for Christmas? Or if you don't celebrate Christmas,
what do you want for your life. For your world?

For me, what I want cannot be bought or gift wrapped. What I want
most can best be summed up in words like "faith" and "hope" and
"love."

For myself, I want faith. Faith enough to see light in even the
bleakest of situations. Faith enough to believe that goodness will
prevail in the end.

For my loved ones I want hope. Abundant hope. Hope in tomorrow. A
hope that helps them believe that better times lay ahead so they can
take that next step.

For my world I want love. And I believe that the solutions to most
of our biggest problems will only be found when we decide that we
are indeed one family. The problems of war, health care, crime in
city streets, immigration and unemployment take on a different hue
when I am talking about my brothers and sisters whom I love dearly.
Do you also want things you can't buy? What if we all decided to go
after those things this year that truly matter? That could be the
greatest gift of all.

gottago · **Posted:** Wed Nov 25, 2009 7:02 am

This was sent to me and thought it was so true.

I suspect all of us have been hurt in deep and lasting ways by the words or acts of another. It’s normal in such situations to feel hostility toward the person who hurt us. If we allow the offense to linger, we may carry the hurt and resentment in the form of a grudge. Usually this causes more unhappiness for us than the person we’re mad at.
Some religions speak of forgiveness as a moral duty, others as a worthy virtue, and still others impose preconditions on the wrongdoer before he or she is entitled to be forgiven. Whatever your religious views, psychologists say the ability to forgive is closely correlated to happiness and mental health.
Some people refuse to even entertain the idea of forgiveness because they don’t think the person they resent deserves to be forgiven. Others don’t want to appear to condone or excuse the conduct and certainly don’t want to reconcile with the person.
The essence of forgiveness is a voluntary decision to abandon continuing resentment, to let go of anger, and to move on. It doesn’t require or imply condoning, excusing, or forgetting. Nor does it require that the forgiver re-establish a relationship with the wrongdoer.
According to Dr. Ben Dean, the capacity to forgive is related to the character strength of empathy. People who can empathize with an offender and see things from that person’s perspective are much better able to forgive. He also says that the older we get, the more forgiving we’re likely to become.
Hmmm. We usually get wiser, too. So maybe it’s wise to forgive.
I suspect all of us have been hurt in deep and lasting ways by the words or acts of another. It’s normal in such situations to feel hostility toward the person who hurt us. If we allow the offense to linger, we may carry the hurt and resentment in the form of a grudge. Usually this causes more unhappiness for us than the person we’re mad at

gottago · **Posted:** Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:06 pm

An unusual tribute was paid to Abraham Lincoln by Carl Sandburg. The
poet wrote, "Not often in the story of mankind does a man arrive on
earth who is both steel and velvet, who is as hard as rock and soft
as drifting fog, who holds in his heart and mind the paradox of
terrible storm and peace unspeakable and perfect."

Lincoln demonstrated then and now how a person can possess both a
will of iron and a heart of tenderness. Nothing deterred the
president during the American Civil War from his "noble" cause, and
few persons have ever endured more criticism and detractors than
Lincoln. Yet he was no more a man of steel than one of velvet.

When General Robert E. Lee surrendered his army, contrary to the
advice of some of his generals, Lincoln sent an unexpected message
to the enemy commander. "Tell your men they may keep their horses;
they'll need them for plowing," said the president. Then this: "Tell
your men they may keep their rifles; they'll need them for hunting."
When Lee read those words he wept.

For each of us there is a time for toughness and a time for
tenderness. A time for resolve and a time for compassion. An iron
will is not the same as an iron spirit. Another courageous American,
Martin Luther King, Jr. some hundred years later encouraged us to
exhibit tough minds and soft hearts... not the other way around.

I know that mental toughness, particularly an iron resolve and
determination, will often be needed if I am to get where I want to
go. But I also know that a soft heart - compassion and love - will
make the journey worth it.

gottago · **Posted:** Thu Dec 03, 2009 8:53 pm

A very good person sent this to me and it is so true.

If you were hiring a new CEO, what are the most important qualities you’d look for? Surely you’d want a high level of demonstrated competence – knowledge, experience, intelligence, vision, communication, relationship skills, and the ability to motivate, manage, and solve problems. But what about qualities such as honesty, moral courage, accountability, and fairness?
Despite bold rhetoric about the indispensability of good character, many hard-driving organizations are willing to be flexible on character to get an exceptionally competent person.
Thus, many current scandals – in business, the church, and sports – have occurred because organizations compromised their principles by recruiting, retaining, or tolerating leaders with serious character flaws who generated costly accusations of wrongdoing and undermined trust, morale, teamwork, and loyalty.
I used to tell clients that competence and character were two separate aspects of intelligent employment decisions. Now I think it’s a mistake to disconnect them. Good character is an essential aspect of competence.
Long ago, Samuel Johnson said, “Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, but knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” Warren Buffet updated that notion: “In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. But if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you.”

Since it’s easier to train a person of good character to do a job well than to develop character in a skilled but unprincipled employee, if you have to choose, hire for character and train for skills

gottago · **Posted:** Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:20 am

Former President Jimmy Carter was 70 years old when he wrote this poem about his father:

This is a pain I mostly hide,
But ties of blood or seed endure.
And even now I feel inside
The hunger for his outstretched hand.
A man's embrace to take me in,
The need for just a word of praise.

Isn't it extraordinary that even after a life of monumental achievements, President Carter still feels pain when he thinks of his father, who either could not feel or would not express love and approval? Unfortunately, there are lots of people in his shoes, left with bitter feelings and enduring wounds inflicted by their parents.

Yet not all bad parents are bad people. Caring parents can unintentionally injure children through excessive harshness or permissiveness or through well-intended criticism and advice that comes out as relentless disapproval or oppressive negativity. Kids not only need to know they're loved, they need to feel worthy of our love. They need to be valued not simply because they're ours, but because of who they are.

It's never too late to try to fix whatever's broken:

◦Express caring, pride, and approval more lavishly and often.
◦Be less critical, more helpful, less controlling.
◦Set aside your need to be right.
◦Be less self-righteous and more respectful toward those you love.
◦Be sincerely accountable and genuinely apologize, even if it's not enough.
It's not always possible to fix things that are broken, but it's worth a try.

gottago · **Posted:** Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:20 pm

WOW! Read it all.

Did you know that your money likely has traces of cocaine on it?

A study by Jack Demirgian of the Argonne National Laboratory
revealed that a full 78% of the currency circulating in Miami and
other major US cities carries trace amounts of cocaine. That's
probably true elsewhere, too.

They were only looking for cocaine, but I wonder what else might be
found on the bills? Maybe fast-food products, such as frying grease,
mustard or teriyaki sauce? Tea or coffee? And how about rouge or
lipstick from purses and lint from pockets? Perhaps ink from a leaky
pen? I've found more indistinguishable stains on some of my money
than I care to think about.

What's more, we're told that if they look closely enough, they can
even learn something about where your money has been. To the store.
To the beach. Even hidden beneath a mattress.

Just about anything that comes into contact with money leaves a bit
of itself behind. Then, when the bills rub up against each other in
a wallet or billfold, they share contaminates. Everything the bills
touch will be changed, however slightly.

So it is with us. Everything we touch is changed. I used to play
English hand bells. "Don't touch the bells with your bare hands," we
were told. "Wear gloves." The oils from our hands changed the
quality of the bells.

Everything we touch is changed. And everybody we touch is changed --
even if we're not infected with something contagious. I'm not only
talking about physical touch, either. Often we touch their minds and
spirits and hearts. Everybody we speak to, rub shoulders with or
even smile at...is changed in some minute way. These changes can be
helpful or hurtful, depending on our interaction. It is like leaving
a piece of ourselves behind with everyone we meet, and taking a
piece of them with us.

And even little changes can make a difference. NO ONE is
insignificant in this regard.

Bette Reeves said, "If you think you are too small to be effective,
you have never been in bed with a mosquito." You don't need to be a
mosquito to have an effect on people around you. The question is:
what little part of yourself will you leave behind? How will you
influence them? Will your encounter be thoughtful or hurried?
Helpful or harmful? Intentional or accidental?

There is something awe-inspiring about the influence we have on one
another. Whom will you touch today? What will you leave behind, and
what will you take with you?

gottago · **Posted:** Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:31 pm

Think about who you will vote for this year,

Cynicism about the ethics of elected officials may be at an all-time high, continually fueled by new stories of corruption and/or bad judgment. At every level of government there are politicians who can’t seem to recognize or resist conflicts of interest, inappropriate gifts, improper use of the power or property entrusted to them, or shameful private conduct.
It’s no surprise that the media are continually shining light on real and perceived improprieties and putting the heat on federal, state, and city legislatures to pass new and tougher ethics laws to restore public trust.
The phrase “ethics laws” is peculiar because it marries two different concepts. Ethics refers to standards of right and wrong and how a person should behave according to moral principles such as honesty, fairness, responsibility, and respect. Living ethically is a matter of conscience. Unethical conduct results in shame and perhaps criticism, scandal, or disgrace.
While ethics is about should, laws are about must. They prohibit or mandate specific conduct. Obeying the law is a matter of compliance. Illegal conduct can result in fines and imprisonment.
Ethics laws meld both concepts. They require conduct (such as open meetings and disclosure of financial interests) and forbid transactions that could compromise the integrity of government. Because those regulated have a high tendency to evade the spirit and purpose of such laws, statutes have become more complex and technical.
Historically, legislative bodies have been reactive rather than proactive, doing only what they absolutely must. Thus, existing laws are often a hodgepodge of regulations designed to prevent reoccurrence of specific past improprieties. That’s a big part of the problem.
What we need is nonpartisan statesmanship and visionary leadership willing to face the fact that relying on elected officials’ judgment is a failed strategy. Doing so guarantees a continual flow of scandals that discredits their institutions and the enterprise of democratic government itself.
While I wish more emphasis was placed on character rather than compliance, the reality is that voters don’t consistently demand scrupulous integrity as evidenced by the re-election of people stained by scandal.
It’s often said that you can’t legislate morality. This is true. But we can require moral conduct. Ethics laws don’t make people ethical, but they deter unethical conduct. And that’s an important first step.

gottago · **Posted:** Mon Mar 08, 2010 8:00 am

In a Peanuts cartoon, Lucy asks Charlie Brown, “Why do you think we were put on earth?”

Charlie answers, “To make others happy.”

Lucy replies, “I don’t think I’m making anyone happy,” and then adds, “but nobody’s making me very happy either. Somebody’s not doing his job!”
People like Lucy are so sure happiness is a matter of getting something that they ask not what they can do for others but what others can and should do for them. They usually feel shortchanged or cheated. They become so preoccupied with what they don’t have that they can’t enjoy what they do have.
What’s more, they don’t realize one of the best ways to be happy is to experience the joy and self-worth of making others happy.

In his book Happiness Is a Serious Problem, Dennis Prager argues that it’s human nature to want and feel we need more. The problem is, the quest for more is endless because we can always add more to whatever we have. As a result, the Lucys of the world often live in an “if only” world that keeps them one step away from happiness: “If only I get this raise, make this sale, pay off my debts, or win this game, I’ll be happy.”
Abraham Lincoln understood that happiness is essentially a way of looking at one’s life: “A person is generally about as happy as he’s willing to be.”

Thus, we’re more likely to experience happiness if we realize it’s not just getting what we want. It’s learning to want what we get.

gottago · **Posted:** Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:24 am

Two young men in Florida removed a stop sign and brought it back to their fraternity house as a trophy. Shortly afterward, a fatal accident occurred at the sign-less intersection. The students were convicted of manslaughter.

In Tennessee, two teenagers were in a high-rise building. One dared the other to slide down a trash chute. His friend did so -- right into an automatic trash compactor. The one who egged him into the fatal accident was traumatized, possibly for life.

Four college fraternity students in California were charged with manslaughter when a pledge they were hazing died after they forced him to drink gallons of water.

What makes these stories all the more tragic is that we’re not talking about bad kids. We’re talking about fundamentally decent kids who made really bad choices.

The recurring nightmare of caring parents is that, during the course of growing up, their children will seriously damage themselves by unwise decisions. An endless array of bad consequences can result from reckless conduct to impress friends, thrillseeking, or giving in to the temptation of drugs, alcohol, or sex. And when kids get involved with irresponsible, manipulative, cruel, selfish, or simply stupid people who call themselves friends, there’s no telling what dumb things they will do.

All youngsters will make foolish mistakes, as we did. Still, we can equip them with reasoning tools that can help them see and avoid really big, bad choices.

We can improve their decision-making skills by talking to them often about the importance of acting rationally, even when everyone around them seems overtaken by impulse. We can tell them stories to help them evaluate situations and anticipate potential consequences.

Galt Forum

Forum rules

Stories of Character

Who is online